Today, my mom would have been 75.
This is the 17th time we've observed her birthday without her.
It is still surreal.
A testament to the energy she had that it's still difficult for my brain to wrap itself around the concept that she is gone.
But then, perhaps that is because while my brain still has yet to accept it 100%...my spirit gently reminds me that she is not gone from me, it was just her earthly body that ended it's journey. She existed before. She exists now. And someday, she will be front and center to hug me once again. And if I play my cards right, if I live how she'd have me live, then I will never have to say goodbye again.
Just follow her example.
Phew! That's a big one.
She wasn't perfect. But, as I firmly believe, God only expects our best. And our best can, and does, differ from day to day. From moment to moment. And, I also firmly believe, that mom of mine? She did her best. All the time.
Just over a week ago, my brother gave me a gift. I don't think he knew that's what he was doing. I had asked him about MoTab's concert tour next year, since he's coming back my way...and I'm just beyond thrilled for him.. CARNEGIE FRICKIN' HALL!!! *breathe* Anyway...he posted:
So, I smiled.
And a few moments later, I cried.
Because for all my failings, and for all my floundering, I have to be doing a few things right.
Today, I posted this picture...zoomed in from a family picture taken just a few days before mom was killed:
Catherine: This woman ♥ You just couldn't help but be happy around her.
Dan: Her infectious joy still burbles through the Taylor clan! Happy Birthday, Mom!
Jamie: She is always everywhere. ... Love you Aunt Jan! ♥
Sheryl: Connie, you look like your mom and radiate the same joy.
Terry: This is such a great picture of her. Exactly how I remember her...always had a great smile.
Kaye: This is how I picture her still. Always smiling!
Dan shared the picture and wrote: Many of you never knew my mom, but those of you who did will remember her just like this. Today, at 75, I'm sure she'd still be laughing, jumping on trampolines, and sticking her tongue out while playing the hard parts of Maleguena! Miss you, Mom! Looking forward to a great reunion!
Me: So grateful for the pieces of herself that she left behind for us...one being you! Love you.
Tamra: And backward somersaults ha ha
Mary: Yep. That is EXACTLY how I remember her!
Comments from some sisters posts:
Debbie: Your mom was such a cute sweet lady. She had such a contagious laugh & always a big smile on her face.
Janell: Happy Birthday to Mom Taylor!! ☺ such a special woman!!
Happy 75th Birthday Mom...
Missing you is just another layer of skin I wear...