Sunday Share - Kimberly

This week's post is done by one of my absolute favorite people in the world.

Not that I'm prejudiced or anything...I mean, I was her host while her body was being formed.  And let me tell you, she LOVED the cheap hamburger and greasy salty fries from the 39 cent Hamburger Stand in California.

Loved them.

When I opened her email and saw the title of her post for today, I cringed...hoping that I wasn't about to read a 'I will NOT be like my mother' essay...because, I have said about guesting on my Sunday Share posts: Write whatever you want.

I'm happy that it wasn't that.

I probably yelled too much.  And I know I made a lot of mistakes...when kiddos leave the nest, you get real clear on what you'd do different...regardless, I have there are three amazing women out there that I forever  get to claim as mine.

Here, as my guest blogger for this Sunday, is my middle daughter, Kimberly (pictures are added by me):

"Three Things I Believe: About Raising Children

I want to write about three things that I think are necessary to raising children.  I obviously have none of my own, but I know how I was raised.  I get a glimpse at how my cousins are being raised. And I often overhear parents and children everyday.  This is a theory I have developed and I will also explain why.

Chores.  It doesn't matter what, but every person, if able, should contribute to everyday house cleaning.  I asked my Mom awhile ago about when we started doing chores, because since I can remember, I was doing them.  Her answer was from when I could walk, she considered me taking my diaper to the trash a reasonable chore for a two year old.

Also, pick up after yourself.  If you take it out, put it back.  Easier said then done, but it is a great habit to get children into so that when they are teens and especially adults, they remain tidy and organized.

Chores do not always need rewards such as allowance.  There were some years growing up that I received an allowance, as long as I did my chores correctly and my grades were satisfactory.  There were other years that I did not, but we still did our chores.

Punishment (grounding).  I overheard a conversation the other day that made me want to shake a woman.  She and her friend were talking about how they have never grounded their children.  I was thinking, okay, how old is this kid to have his mom just barely thinking about grounding him.  17.  It was brought up.  17 years, never grounded, and they recalled times she should have before. I'm sorry woman.  Good luck.

In the later years of living at home, I was grounded from my room.  Not to my room.  From.  I had to find ways to entertain myself in the rest of the house and socialize with everyone else.  Back then, it really was a punishment to me.  There were times I was grounded from reading, tv, or whatever it was that I favored to entertain myself.

As long as the child/teen understands why they are being punished, as long as they understand the purpose and they don't just ignore the punishment, then I think it is a good parenting tool.

Control.  Control of the situation, control of your emotions.  No matter the situation.  I believe parents must do their best to remain level headed, especially dealing with teenagers.  I understand that we are human, and it is a very draining task to raise even one child...but yelling doesn't solve anything.  It grabs attention quickly and the brain shuts down.  At least that's what happens to me.  All rational and logical thought go away.

The scariest voice is the quiet, even tone that is somehow the most threatening.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, listen to a mother doing her best to warn a child quietly at the store or while on the phone without attracting more attention than necessary.

I also think control in scary situations.  Remaining calm.  There have been plenty of blizzards that my mother has driven through with Jaycey and I in the car.  Driving and being in a car already scare me.  Add any weather, stupid drivers...makes me more so.  My mom is very good at keeping calm in those types of situations and it helps me be at ease because I trust her.

I don't know if this made any sense or if I am speaking out of place but it is what I wanted to share for Sunday.  :)

-fin

---Kimmie Belle"